First Impressions Matter

First Impressions Matter
Daily Inspiration
By John H. Sklare, Ed.D, LifeScript Personal Coach
Published June 08, 2009

They last less than a minute, but first impressions can impact jobs, relationships and even casual interactions. Are you making a good first impression? Read on to find out. Plus get 5 tips on making a good first impression…

What kind of first impression do you make on people you meet? Think about that for a moment. First impressions are truly important moments in the relationships we build.

A good first impression can open the door to closer and more meaningful contact. Conversely, a bad first impression can instantly shut you out of professional opportunities and personal relationships.

The fact is, these moments come quickly, pass in an instant and matter deeply. How important are first impressions? Here’s an example that just happened to me.

I was sitting in one of my favorite restaurants the other day, having dinner and chatting with the manager whom I’ve come to know. As we were talking, a young woman walked in and sat down.

The manager said to me, “Well, there’s my next job interview. You wouldn’t believe how many college grads are applying here lately.”

As the young lady walked in the door, the manager and I gave each other a look. The reason? She looked a bit disheveled and was dressed in a wrinkled T-shirt, very short shorts and flip flops. And she was there for a job interview!

Needless to say, she did not make a good first impression. I interpreted her dress, unkemptness and manner to mean she really didn’t care if she got this job or not.

Now, I could be totally wrong about her and maybe this job was very important to her. But based on my impression, she was very fortunate that it wasn’t me doing the interviewing. And knowing this manager as I do, I’m guessing that she didn’t get the job.

A Good Impression
On the other hand, a repair man came to my house recently to fix something. He was neatly groomed, dressed in a clean uniform, smiled and immediately greeted me when I opened the door. He even took his shoes off before entering my home. I will definitely call him again. Why? Good first impression!

It only takes a few seconds to make that first impression. In these initial few seconds, the other person forms an opinion about you based on your overall appearance, basic demeanor and sense of self.

I’m reminded of a clay handprint I made in school when I was very young, as I’m sure many of you also did. The teacher provided us with clay, which we then flattened and made an imprint of our hand in. The clay hardened and we were left with a permanent mold of our small hands.

My mother still has mine in a cabinet, and the impression of my hand remains exactly the same. Mental first impressions basically operate under the same principle.

The Science Behind First Impressions
It turns out that we’re hardwired to make first impressions. A study was recently conducted by researchers at New York University and Harvard University. According to a March 2009 report in the journal Nature Neuroscience, they found that certain brain regions are geared to pick up cues about other people on a first impression.

They further found that the reason people judge others so quickly is due to the “innate abilities of various brain regions.”

During a social encounter, our brains “encode” certain basic information, then sort the information based on its significance to us. The value of that information contributes to a total score of sorts – a first impression.

The study's lead author, Daniela Schiller, says that "even when we only briefly encounter others, brain regions that are important in forming evaluations are engaged, resulting in a quick first impression."

In short, first impressions are made without our conscious mind. We can tell ourselves not to judge, but our brains are making evaluations subconsciously – it’s a physiological reaction. This is another strong reason to be mindful of how you present yourself in important first-time introductions.

How to Make a Good First Impression
Whether it’s a social personal encounter or a professional business meeting, you should always approach significant encounters with a clear purpose. And certain rules do apply. Here are five basic suggestions that I believe are critical to making a good first impression.

* Be on time: The worst way to begin a new relationship and the best way to make a bad impression is to begin by saying, “I’m sorry I’m late!” When setting up a meeting or appointment, plan your schedule accordingly and allow plenty of time.

* Dress appropriately: Nothing is worse than showing up unkempt and dressed inappropriately, like the young woman in the restaurant for a job interview.

* Smile: Smiles can definitely be contagious. A warm, sincere and confident smile is a great way to make a good first impression.

Smiles can definitely be contagious. A warm, sincere and confident smile is a great way to make a good first impression.

* Show confidence: Your attitude says a lot about you, so stay positive if you’re nervous or even in the face of criticism. Don’t be cocky or arrogant, but stand tall, give a firm handshake, be friendly, maintain good body posture and make eye contact when you speak.

* Be courteous and polite: Use common courtesy, show appropriate respect, don’t dominate the conversation, listen with interest and turn off any electrical devices you have with you.

These are only a few general suggestions to making the most out of those first few seconds. An awful lot of personal connections and business relationships are made or lost in that important initial moment.

So here’s a small exercise: From 1 to 10 (1 being poor and 10 being great), how would you rate the first impression that you typically give? Do you leave people interested and wanting to know more about you? Or, to the best of your knowledge, do you typically leave them cold, disinterested or unimpressed?

If you didn’t score as high as you would have liked, make today the day you begin paying more attention to this important aspect of human interaction. Strive to become more mindful of these important moments of introduction and be aware of the first impression that you give.

I suggest that you take advantage of this empowering information and begin being more purposeful during initial introductions. As I mentioned earlier, they can play a big role in laying the foundation for your future business and personal relationships. And as the saying goes, you only get one chance to make a first impression. Make it count!

Wishing You Great Health,
Dr. John H. Sklare
www.innerdiet.com

MY THOUGHTS

scaleof 1 to 10? i don't know.i believe in first impressions but i also believe in chemistry. i've met people who smile, who's dressed appropriately, came on time, has the confidence and was courteous and polite but did not leave a dent. so,i guess the same goes the same for me. i'm sure i've left others cold just by being myself.